What Does It Actually Feel Like to Be a Woman In a Mid-Life Crisis?

What does it feel like to be a woman caught in a mid-life crisis?  Well, it’s complicated!  This is not a subject that comes up often in articles or in normal conversation, but it is a very real experience and part of life that many women go through.  It’s just that women usually don’t realize how important the topic is… until they get there.  Although it may differ slightly for every woman… for those that reach “that point”, for those who know when “it’s time”… it is quite clear and there is no mistaking it.  

I think I first knew it was happening to me when I realized that I was waking up every day in “a funk.”  Every day there was something that annoyed me, every day there was something sad to think about, every day there was something to be angry over, every day there was something to worry about, every day there was a feeling of being overwhelmed… and that cycle of emotions continued on.  However, whenever my true and actual reality would come into focus, I sat back, looked at my life and realized… none of those things were true and nothing in my life had really changed.  My home was still cozy, my job was successful, my family members were alive and well, I was eternally grateful…. Yet, there was still “something.”  Oftentimes, a song on the radio would put me in tears, a gesture from a loved one would cause me to break down, and a sappy movie would topple me over the edge.  When I finally started to analyze my feelings and figure out exactly what had changed, I realized – it was me.   

For years, I felt like I gave everyone my all… I worked, I washed, I cleaned, I drove, I ran, I mended, I sewed, I played, I sang, I doctored, I wiped, I mapped, I organized, I cooked, I studied, I baked, I cheered, I gathered, I listened, I supported, I coached, I celebrated, I yelled, I laughed, I cried, I sacrificed, I prayed.  And although it was exhausting and constantly all consuming… through it all, I had survived!

Yet… there was still a longing in me for something else (although it wasn’t as if I needed more to do). Through all of that action, all that emotion, I yearned for something more in my life.  And it was difficult to explain to someone else looking in.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t happy. I felt incredibly fortunate, very grateful, and my life was indeed full.  However, something changed in me, and it caused me to want to examine everything more closely, and nothing I did ever seemed to be good enough or fulfilling enough.  All of a sudden, I wanted to change the color of my hair, the color of my car… and then my curtains, my furniture, my job, my kitchen, my house… The more I looked, the more I wanted to change!  And the reasons weren’t because there was anything wrong with these things, it was just that I wanted them to change… to look different, to be different.

Now, some of you may have no idea what I am talking about.  Some of you have not reached this stage in life, some of you may not recognize it, some of you may have missed it, and some of you may bypass this stage completely.  If you feel you are in one of these categories, then good for you!  I guess you can stop reading now.  However, if you feel you fall into the group that I am referring to, then please read on!

What does it feel like to be a woman caught in a mid-life crisis?  It feels like a woman who has worked her whole life, has a successful career, happy family and yet, still feels a void exists that cannot be explained.  So, what to do about it?  Well, for one, it takes some really hard and challenging self-examination and discovery.  I spent a lot of time examining various aspects of my life, and I slowly started to make some changes.  What I can tell you, is that it is definitely a process, but it is a satisfying one.  And, it can even be rewarding if you let your heart guide you (not your mind) through the journey.

Here is a quick rundown of some of the preliminary questions you need to begin to ask yourself.  Be sure to take these questions seriously.  Dig deep into your heart and write down your answers.  And then when you’re done, you will certainly have some key takeaways to put into action. 

1. What is most important to you in your life, and why?
2. What makes you the most happy in your life?
3. If anything was possible, what would you wish for?
4. What have been your 3 greatest successes to date?
5. Is your life one of your choosing?  If not, who is choosing it for you?
6. What are the 3 biggest changes you want to make in your life over the next 5 years?
7. What 3 goals do you want to achieve within the next 3 months?

Write all of your answers down. And then… make a plan to work towards these changes/goals that you’ve outlined as important and that make you happy.  Identify the first step (even if it’s small) that you need to take.

In the end, this is how it all started for me.  Unless you take the time to have a ‘heart-to-heart’ conversation with yourself, you won’t get the answers.  This is also how I start to coach other women.  For many, it helps to have another woman guide you through these steps and identify what cannot be easily seen or determined.  

Believe me when I say that we all have the power to make the necessary changes and take the steps to get exactly where we want to be in life.  It’s just a matter of whether we have the determination to do it and how long we procrastinate before we start.  If you feel you are ready to make a change and start this journey, please comment below and share your thoughts.  And, if you feel you need a little help getting started or a little guidance along the way, click here to reach out to me to start a conversation.  I am just an email or call away, to help you get started on the road to a more fulfilled life. 

  -Chintz 💄

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