How Much Is One Life Worth?

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written about “life during a pandemic.”  Although we may not all want to admit it, we are still in the middle of it. I guess part of me was trying to ignore the fact that this dreaded virus was still here, and it appears as if it is going to be with us for a while longer.  I feel as though part of my world has changed forever, and it may never be the same.  I know… I am sure that to some of you I may sound overly dramatic, but I can assure you that it is with good reason.

Yesterday, I attended a small family gathering to celebrate my mother-in-law’s 70th birthday.  It was a wondrous celebration, and a milestone in and of itself.  All of the attendees were happy, grateful and donned in all white summer outfits to celebrate the joyous occasion.  There was delicious food, soft music, blue skies and an array of smiles to go around… or so I would imagine.  Smiles were not easily seen as you looked around…  Because almost everyone had on masks.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there were stolen moments when a grin could be seen or a smile would appear, and many laughs could indeed be heard.  But, even still… it was different.  

For me, it was also hot!  I couldn’t breath easily, the strings from the mask started to irritate my ears, and I was very conscious of the all white mask on my face for most of the day.  As vain as it may seem, I managed to doll myself up a little with makeup, as I knew there would be at least a few family pictures taken for the occasion.  However, whenever my mask would come down, there came some makeup along with it.  Nonetheless, aside from those few family photos and the time I spent eating some good home-cooked food, the mask stayed on, as it did for everyone else.  

Although I have grown somewhat accustomed to wearing a mask in public, at the same time, it still seems foreign to me.  And like so many others, I sometimes get annoyed, and wonder how long this is going to have to continue, and is it really worth all the trouble and aggravation?  And then… I looked over at my mother-in-law, I glanced at my children, and I thought of all those whom I love so very much… and I thought – Yes, it’s very worth it!  But… Is it full-proof?  No.  Is my safety guaranteed? No.  Is the safety of my family guaranteed?  No.  Will there always be risk? Yes.  Is there a chance any of us could get sick?  Yes.  Is there a chance any of us could die?  Yes.  Working in healthcare as I do, I see and hear of a lot of the risk.  My job makes it even more prevalent in my day to day talks and interactions, and all the more real than for those who only see it at a distance. 

The Story…

As I talk with my children about their safety, about these inconveniences, about our sacrifices, I tell them the story of a simple purchase I made when they were young. I was reminded of the story recently, as my daughter re-decorated her room this summer. You see…“Our modest house is not very large, but it fits us just right, at least for now.  When my kids were young, they shared a small bedroom on the second floor, adjacent to our bedroom, with two windows on either side of the room.  As they grew into the age of toddlers and beyond, I thought it necessary to install bars on their bedroom windows.  And I’m not talking about anything large or grotesque, but rather sturdy slim white ones. Since I am still of the mindset that some fresh air blowing into the house is a good thing, I would occasionally open the windows in their room to let in the light and air.  And in doing so, I just wanted them to be safe if I stepped away, even for just a minute.  Believe it or not, to some of my family, this was an extreme measure to take and most likely a waste of money.  However, I saw it as peace of mind for their safety. The bars could easily snap in and out by an adult, if there was an emergency.  So, I figured, what was the harm?  Needless to say, I ordered and installed the bars within a week.  And my inner peace was instantly obtained, and my children could enjoy the freedom of running around, playing, without me having to worry as much.”

This summer, I just finished taking down the last remnants of those metal pieces.  Although the bars have been long gone, I hadn’t noticed that there was still a rod attached along the side of the window frame. As I removed this last piece of metal from the wood frame, I realized that I will never know if the bars actually did their job.  I will never know if it saved one or both of their lives.  And, I will never truly know what the outcome could have been if I had not installed those bars.  But, isn’t that the point?  As I tell my kids today, the only true way I could’ve been proven right, is if I had not installed the bars at all… and then one of them fell.  It would have only taken one time for that to happen, one mistake, one accident… and the possible result of irreversible damage. 

So, today… we wear masks.  Not just because it’s recommended, not just because it’s popular, and even when people don’t agree.  We wear masks, because it only takes one time, one cough, one incident… to possibly cause damage that is irreversible.  

Forgive me, as I didn’t intend this to sound like a lecture, or a public health warning. I just had to share this personal experience as it was on my heart.  When I looked around at my family yesterday, I realized that I want to be around for many, many more birthday parties.  I want to continue to watch my kids grow up.  I want the elders in my family to remain healthy and live for as long as they can.  For me, one life is worth all of that and more.

-Chintz 💄

Looking for more posts written during the pandemic? Click here to read some excerpts written earlier this year.

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