How to Use Your Gift of Perspective

The gift of perspective is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?  The question is why don’t we use this gift to keep a positive mindset and build strength in order to accomplish our goals. I know it may sound easier said than done, but it is worth the effort to focus on this and make it a daily reality.  The power of your perspective is an incredible force that can propel you forward on the road to success, or it can make you feel defeated before you even start your journey. When you admire a sunrise or sunset, do you see the horizon as a partly sunny or partly cloudy sky? If it’s the latter, let’s talk about steps that can be incorporated into your day to ignite the change in your  perspective, which is needed for your success.

In my coaching experience, I often reference the ‘paradigm shift’ that occurs in our minds when we discover the reality of a situation, erasing our assumptions and our original perspective.  It’s the change that happens when your entire point of view shifts in the opposite direction. Here is a great example of this shift, which I have referenced many times over the years.  I am pretty sure we can all relate to this story…

“I remember a mini-Paradigm Shift I experienced one Sunday morning on a subway in New York. People were sitting quietly — some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed.

The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing.

It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?

The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.” *

…My paradigm shifted. Suddenly I saw things differently, I felt differently, I behaved differently. My irritation vanished. I didn’t have to worry about controlling my attitude or my behavior; my heart was filled with the man’s pain. Feelings of sympathy and compassion flowed freely…. Everything changed in an instant.”

Isn’t it quite amazing how quickly we judge others?  And how quickly we judge ourselves?  The point of this story is not just to prove that we often do not know the circumstances of others, but it shows how most of us would use up our energy with annoyance, irritation and possibly anger.  It shows that our perspective of the situation would not only dictate how we would feel about this individual, but it clearly would effect our experience of the train ride itself.  How many of us would have been so focused on the negative aspects?  How many of us would not have enjoyed the ride?  (And not just because of the noise.)

Start today in using your gift of perspective… and how to focus on the positive…

• Identify your areas of negative thinking… Start to think of the positive aspects of every situation.  Try not to judge others or yourself, as oftentimes, things are not as bad as they seem.
• Create a schedule/routine for your day & week… Consistency can be therapeutic.  When you have goals set and a plan in place, it is easier to stay on track, see your progress and feel more accomplished.  This also breeds positive motivation and thinking, which helps propel you forward.  
• Surround yourself with positive people…. I cannot stress this one enough, as it is so important to have a good support group around you. And as the saying goes “You are the company you keep.”
• Bring humor into your daily thoughts and interactions…  I am a big proponent of laughter!  In my opinion, it is hands down one of the best forms of therapy there is.  Learn to laugh things off easily and you will feel ‘lighter’ and better overall.

And lastly….

• Forgive yourself.  Don’t be too hard on yourself when you slip up, make a mistake, or miss a goal.  

Remember these are just beginning steps, so don’t expect your perspective to change overnight. Just take it all one day at a time… and it will get easier.

 -Chintz 💄

* From the book – “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey

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